☆I ordered a balloon on aliexpress
Tracking showed it was on the way and then it just disappeared. Has anyone seen it?
我在速卖通上订购了一只气球。
物流信息显示正在路上，然后它突然就消失了，请问有人看到了吗？
☆Prince Harry book reveals he lost virginity to older woman.
It makes a nice change that at least one of the Royals like older women, Charles and Phillip were suspiciously best friends with Jimmy Saville and Andrew openly likes them underage.
哈里王子在自传中透露他的童贞是被一个年长的女人夺走的。
这实际上是很好的事，毕竟终于有一个王室成员喜欢年长的女人了。查尔斯和菲利普和Jimmy Saville走得太近，而安德鲁王子又公开表示过喜欢未成年。
☆A Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) teacher enters the classroom with a banana. He says, "Boys and girls, today I will teach you how to put on a condom. I brought the banana because I can't get an erection on an empty stomach."
生理课老师拿着一根香蕉走进教室：“孩子们，今天我们要来学习如何戴安全套。”
“我带了一根香蕉来，因为我空腹的时候硬不起来。”
——jimmysammy
☆I lost my penis in an accident and they took me to the hospital.
The doctor said "don't worry we have a range of penises we can surgically attach. We have small, medium and big. They all cost £10,000. I'll leave you to discuss it with your wife" 20 minutes later the doctor comes back in and asks for a decision. "I've discussed it with my wife and we've decided were going to buy a kitchen."
我的鸡儿在一场事故中被切断了，我被紧急送到了医院。
医生说：“别担心，我们可以给你换新的人工鸡儿。现在可以选尺寸了，有小号、中号和大号怕。价格都是一万英镑。你和妻子讨论一下吧？”
20分钟后医生走进病房问我：“想好了吗？”
“我和妻子讨论过了，我们决定换新的厨房。”
——scrotimus-maximus
11周年纪念日快乐
安德鲁王子，您瞅瞅这事儿整的
@压扁公司:因为小男孩都被教皇抢走了
@狗狗鸡_:这里不是没！！噢，这里是没品啊）
——CTbay
恐惧本人都会害怕的东西
菊花显然并没有想着更容易被擦的方向进化。
名表真是奇怪——注意到的人本来就不多，关心的人就更少了。
大部分的人在听到汽车报警器响起的时候只会觉得是车主搞出来的，而不是有人真的去抢劫车里的东西了。
—End—
有什么其他想说的，可以在公众号对话框里私信。