Did you just see your crush coming your way?

刚才，你喜欢的那个人朝你走过来了，你看到了吗？

Quick, what to do?

快点，怎么办？

Oh, okay, okay. Deep breaths first.

放松，放松，放松，深呼吸。

Talking to your crush can be a very nerve-wracking experience.

与你喜欢的人交谈可能会让你神经紧张。

The thought of saying something wrong is always in the back of your head.

你总是会担心说错话。

But it doesn't have to be.

但其实并不必如此担心。

Some things that you say can actually increase their attraction towards you.

你的某些表达可能会让他们对你好感倍增。

If you're not sure what those things are, here are five things to say to your crush.

如果你还是不知道要如何表达自己，这里有五点建议。

One, crack a joke.

第一，讲笑话。

Knock. Knock. Who's there?

敲门。敲门。谁？

Wendy. Wendy, who?

温迪。哪个温迪？

Wendy you think we can go on a date?

我啊，你想和我约会吗？

A bit too cheesy?

有点太老套了？

Well, the good news is even simple jokes can do the trick.

但是呢，其实最简单的笑话也很有用。

A most trusted icebreaker, so to speak.

可以很好地打破你们之间尴尬的氛围。

A 2015 research article published an evolutionary psychology, found that humor points to having a sociable and agreeable personality.

2015年发表的一篇进化心理学研究文章发现，幽默往往意味着一个人善于交际且和蔼可亲。

The study also found that when a pair laughed together, they were more interested in each other.

研究还发现，当情侣一起开怀大笑时，他们对彼此的感情会更深。

But why is that?

但为什么会这样呢？

Humor eases the situation.

幽默可以缓和气氛。

It makes you seem more open and likable.

会让你看起来更活泼、更讨人喜欢。

This trick is also backed by science.

这也有科学依据。

Laughing releases endorphins, which make you feel good about yourself and others.

大笑会释放内啡肽，让你对自己和他人感觉更加良好。

On top of that, your crush could follow up with their own joke.

最重要的是，你喜欢的人也会接一些他们自己的笑话。

And if you laugh at it, you get bonus points.

如果你也笑了，那你们之间就有戏了。

People tend to like others who laugh at their jokes.

人们会喜欢被他们的笑话逗笑的人。

Even if it doesn't work, it does show others your fun, loving and brave side.

即使这个笑话本身不好笑，它也会向别人展示你有趣、有爱心和勇敢的一面。

So don't be nervous to drop a joke here or there.

所以，不要因为讲笑话而紧张。

Number two, remember to say thank you.

第二，说谢谢。

Saying thank you is not only a sign of good manners, it's also a simple way to tell someone I appreciate you.

说谢谢不仅是礼貌的表现，也是告诉别人我感谢你的一种简单的方式。

As Antonio Damasia, a professor of psychology and urology put it: Gratitude rewards generosity and maintains the cycle of healthy social behavior.

正如心理学和内科教授安东尼奥·达马西亚所说：大方慷慨地感恩，社会行为也会保持健康的循环。

Showing gratitude makes people feel respected and happy.

表达感激之情会让人感到被尊重，感到快乐。

And it lets them know you recognize their efforts.

这会让他们知道你认可他们的努力。

If you are hanging out with your crush, tell them: Thank you for such a good time!

如果你和你的心上人一起出去玩，告诉他们：谢谢你，今天我很开心！

Or if they're a good friend who never feels to listen, tell them: Thank you for always being there for me!

或者，如果他们是一个从来不怎么倾听的朋友，告诉他们：谢谢你一直在我身边！

This simple but powerful phrase could create a long lasting bond between you two.

这句简单但有力的话可以在你们两人之间建立一种持久的纽带。

Three, share a little secret.

第三，分享一个小秘密。

It is no secret that everyone can have a secret.

每个人都有秘密，这不是什么稀奇事。

Some are small, like that embarrassing thing you did in middle school, and some are bigger like the drama that goes on in the family.

有些秘密很小，比如你在中学做的某件令人尴尬的事情，有些秘密可能很大，比如家庭纠纷。

Yeah, you could be someone who likes to keep them to yourself, and that's okay.

是啊，你可能是个喜欢隐藏秘密的人，这没什么。

Sometimes sharing some of your little secrets with your crush could make them like you a bit more.

有时候，和你的心上人分享一些你的小秘密会让他们更喜欢你。

Sharing a secret with someone creates a bond between you.

与某人分享秘密会在你们之间建立纽带。

And it takes your relationship to the next level.

这会让你们的关系更上一层楼。

Making it more special and intimate.

变得更加特别和亲密。

This is something that's been known to researchers for decades.

研究人员几十年前就发现了这个道理。

Research that goes back as far as 1994 has shown that people who use more intimate disclosure tend to create a meaningful bond with their special someone.

此方面的研究最早可以追溯到1994年：分享私密信息会在特殊的人之间建立有意义的纽带。

Long story short, telling your crush a little secret about yourself might just be a good way to get the ball rolling.

长话短说，告诉你喜欢的人一个关于你自己的小秘密可以让你们的关系更进一步。

Number four, give them compliments.

第四，赞美他们。

They say compliments are verbal sunshine.

赞美就像言语中包含阳光的温暖。

What do you think?

你觉得呢？

You look lovely today.

你今天看起来很漂亮。

You have an awesome style.

你的风格很酷。

That hair-do looks great on you.

那个发型看起来很适合你。

Everyone likes to receive such compliments from time to time.

每个人都喜欢时不时地收到这样的赞美。

It's perfectly normal and it boosts your self-esteem.

这是非常正常的，它会提升你的自尊。

Compliments can make your crush feel like they're really special to you.

赞美会让你的心上人觉得他们对你来说真的很特别。

You seem like someone who cares about them.

你看起来像是关心他们的人。

But the words you choose for your compliments matter too.

但你赞美的措辞也很重要。

A 2017 research study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that women tend to like men who compliment using more metaphorical language,

2017年发表在《心理学前沿》上的一项研究发现，女性倾向于喜欢使用更多隐喻语言恭维的男性，

which shows their creativity.

这会让男性看起来更具有创造力。

It's also worth noting to compliment things that they don't hear all that often.

同样值得注意的是，赞美他们并不经常听到的东西。

For example, compliment their artistic skills or a good book choice.

例如，称赞他们的艺术鉴赏力或一本好书。

They'll surely be glad someone noticed.

他们肯定会很高兴有人注意到了这一点。

And it could be a great conversation starter.

这可能会是一个很好的开场白。

And number five, ask them questions.

第五，问他们一些问题。

Hmm, to ask or not to ask?

嗯，问还是不问？

Asking simple everyday questions to begin with is a way of showing them that you're interested.

首先，问一些简单的日常问题是向他们表明你很感兴趣的一种方式。

Ask them about their hobbies or their bucket list or their favorite music choice.

询问他们的爱好、想做的事情或他们最喜欢的音乐。

Pretty much anything.

什么都行。

This can make your crush like you.

这会让你的心上人喜欢上你。

Yeah, for reals.

真的。

A 2017 Harvard study found a connection between asking questions and being liked.

哈佛大学2017年的一项研究发现，提问和被喜欢之间存在一定的联系。

Talking about them, asking them about their life could be a good strategy to increase your chances.

谈论他们的生活可能是增加你们之间感情的好策略。

So just ask away.

你可以随便问。

Let them do the talking.

让他们来说。

And see how they smile more every time they see you.

看他们看到你微笑的样子。