小同伴们大师好，欢送离开本期的“外洋也有段子手”！上周的国内赛场出色看点层见叠出，阿根廷、巴西、智利以及秘鲁会师美洲杯四强，四场1/4决赛里竟呈现了三次点球年夜战。女足天下杯赛场，铿锵玫瑰们0-2没有敌意年夜利女足。好了，话未几说，让咱们快来看看歪果仁们的出色吐槽吧！
半决赛战巴西，阿根廷2-0委内瑞拉
Gabocorbo(国米球迷)：阿根廷赢了，马特奥脱下了委内瑞拉的球衣，而后又换上了巴西球衣...(Argentina: Wins. Mateo: Takes off Venezuela's shirt and puts on a Brazil one.)
Max0699(曼城球迷)：阿根廷正在半决赛血虐巴西，只为到决赛再被智利点球年夜战击败…这便是宿命。(The scenes when Argentina thrash Brazil in the Semis only to lose on penalties to Chile in the final. It is destined.)
Soraka30cmMOLE(未知客队球迷)：我好想有个女冤家能像梅西信赖队友同样信赖我…(I want a girl who trust in me like Messi trust in his tea妹妹ates lol.)
Aosaka129(未知客队球迷)：我疑心你要给她戴绿帽子。(So you want to cheat on her?)
Matheusj99(巴萨球迷)：还真是第一次见梅西被阿根廷队友带着飞的竞赛…(The first time I've ever seen Argentina carrying Messi for game.)
pookachu123(未知客队球迷)：这也是第一次见阿根廷的战术没有是传球给梅西而后等他XJBT…(This is the first time I've ever seen Argentina's tactics that were more than "pass the ball to Messi and let him do shit".)
升级四强，巴西点球裁减巴拉圭
Gnorrn(未知客队球迷)：这场竞赛便是巴西正在树模射门怎么样才干“只蹭蹭没有出来”的格式办法。(This game is like a cosmic joke to see how close Brazil can get to scoring without actually putting the ball in the net.)
GiantTurdAsteroid(切尔西球迷)：我是中立球迷，但如今我菊花都告急到脱肛了…(I’m a neutral and my asshole is prolapsing.)
capitainfriendly(巴西球迷)：每一次感到咱们踢患上好烂的时分，我就抚慰本人最少不踢患上像阿根廷那样更烂…(Everytime I think we're playing bad I think to myself It could be worse, we could be Argentina.)
6_T_I_M_E_S(利物浦球迷)：裁判看VAR的时分该当给不雅众也播放VAR展现的内容啊，你播放裁判站正在那看屏幕的镜头有啥意义？(Instead of showing us the ref looking at a fucking screen, roducers need to start showing the exact same images the ref is looking at. That's ridiculous.)
3进球有效，乌拉圭点球负秘鲁
das_not_nais(未知客队球迷)：好吧，如今咱们来猜测一下决赛情势——巴西VS智利：“智利喜提三连冠！”巴西VS秘鲁：“尼玛怎样总是你？”阿根廷VS秘鲁：“梅西团体秀！”阿根廷VS智利：“哈哈哈哈！”(Okay, let's look at our banter potential for the Final: Brazil vs Chile = "Chile wins 3rd time". Brazil vs Peru = "Aw shit here we go again". Argentina vs Peru = "Messi time". Argentina vs Chile = "JAJAJAJA")
Noticemesempais(秘鲁球迷)：秘鲁这招妙啊，没有朝乌拉圭门将射门，如许他到点球年夜战的时分就冻伤风了！(Peru masterclass. Don't shoot at Uruguayan goalie so he is cold for penalties.)
gabocorbo(国米球迷)：穆斯莱拉整场竞赛90分钟都没扑救，加之点球年夜战也仍是不…(Muslera dind't manage a single save duning the 90' and neither during the penalty kicks.)
maxiperalta54(阿根廷球迷)：千万没想到，咱们居然是1/4决赛独一能进球的球队…(Who would have thought that we would be the only team to score a goal in the Quarterfinals lmao.)
DerpJungler(曼城球迷)：美洲杯的锻炼方案：周一到周五天天3小时踢点球！(Copa America Training regime: 3 hours of penalty kicks monday-friday.)
Igloo433(巴萨球迷)：秘鲁对于巴西能输成0-5，如今却又裁减了乌拉圭…(Peru get smacked 5-0 by Brazil but somehow beat Uruguay wow.)
Yimanya(奥林匹亚科斯球迷)：美洲杯新战术降生了：靠VAR狗全场，而后点球年夜战取胜！(A new tactic was born in this Copa America: "VAR yourself to Penalty Kicks".)
告急剧烈，智利点球裁减哥伦比亚
Afk94(阿根廷球迷)：假如咱们还能混到决赛，再以及智利踢个点球年夜战就真蛋疼了…(If we somehow face Chile in the final and it goes to penalties we are so fucked.)
Leancarp900(未知客队球迷)：我都预感到了，阿根廷好逝世赖活地赢了巴西，而后决赛里点球输给智利…(Argentina shithousing a victory vs Brazil, then losing the final in penalties vs Chile incoming...)
Joaorsilva(本菲卡球迷)：智利以及点球年夜战，另有比这班配的一对于吗？(chile and penaltis, name a better duo.)
GuanaSucxk(未知客队球迷)：阿根廷以及亚军。(Argentina and 2nd places.)
Hornetbite8(阿根廷球迷)：说患上就跟咱们能进决赛似的…(Are you sure we can manage a final?)
Shabablife(未知客队球迷)：看了这么多场女足天下杯，我都快忘了汉子踢球的速率能够这么快了！(Been watching so much Women’s World Cup that I forgot how much faster the men’s game is.)
Mrcyevon(未知客队球迷)：哥伦比亚正在小组赛的施展阐发是最佳的，后果出线后碰见的是最难啃的骨头…(Colombia got the toughest team after being the only team going perfect in the group stage.)
失势没有患上分，中国女足0-2意年夜利女足
thesilentGinlasagna(巴萨球迷)：假如现在是中国女足球员去射杀图派克，那他如今该当还在世…(If Tupac’s shooter was a Chinese woman he’d still be alive today.)
75r6q3(中国队球迷)：那也比咱们的男足强多啦，哈哈！(Still miles better than our men’s team... h妹妹m.)
MiniHumpback(中国队球迷)：何时咱们的男足也能活着界杯裁减赛上踢一次意年夜利啊…(When could our men’s team also play against Italy in a World Cup knockout…)
Lacerdanio(意年夜利球迷)：你还记患上前次意年夜利男足进天下杯裁减赛是啥时分么…(Do you remember the last time we were in a World Cup knock out?)
Deansredhalo(热刺球迷)：看中国女足踢球让我想起了小时分练篮球的模样，每一次锻练都要让咱们停止传跑练习训练，并且必需实现X次传球才被答应投篮…(Watching China reminds me of when I was growing up and playing youth basketball, the coaches would make us run a drill where we would be required to complete X number of passes before anyone was allowed to shoot.)
Paspoort(意年夜利球迷)：这意年夜利国歌让我好意酸，由于我再也看没有到布冯正在场上唱这首歌了…(That Italian anthem made me sad about the fact that we'll never see Buffon sing it again.)
好了，敬爱的小同伴们，本期的“外洋也有段子手”就为大师播报到这了。让咱们刮目相待，来看下期歪果仁们愈加出色的锋利吐槽吧！（本文内容根源懂球帝，如侵权请联络删除了）
| 留言与评论（共有 0 条评论） |
